Bridesmaid

Last week I was part of a beautiful and special moment in the life of two dear friends. I had been invited by them to attent their wedding, which was a delight, and came with a wonderful surpise.

I have met these amazing women a couple of years ago on a party and since we have always been in contact. From the first moment it felt as if we had know each other for long. I care a lot about them and they about me, and have offered me their help multiple time. One of them started calling me her sister, which felt and still feels amazing. They obviously know about my situation, not being able to dress at home, and offered me numerous times to come and change at their place.

As they live less than a kilometer from my home, I have never used their invitation. Actually, I have never gone out as Liv in my home town, out of fear of being recognized. But a while ago they reached out to me to invite me to their wedding, which would take place in my home town. Of course It was no question if I would go, but I really was not sure at first if I would go as Liv. Yet it would be most beautiful if I could go as my true self.

Once I said yes, they asked me if I wanted to drive them. I own a white car and I loved to do this for them. This did however make the decision to go as Liv more complex. As my car would obviously be easy to recognize.

During the past weeks I have been working on myself to avoid overthinking and let my feelings speak more. This was definitely an opportunity to let go of overthinking. Deep within I wanted to go as Liv, so rather than to dwell on what could happen, I decided I would do it. I would go as Liv. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I have been selecting an outfit worthy of such a beautiful moment, and shopped for accessories to go with it.

Days before the wedding I started to get nervous, and often thoughts about what could happen would cross my mind. Every time I noticed that, I took a deep breath and tried to let go of those thoughts. In the days before the wedding my parents would be away and I could use their home to get dressed.

On the morning of the wedding I woke up early took my bags with clothes, makeup and heels and went to my parent’s place. I had planned a lot of time, so I did not have to rush. When I finished my makeup, I felt proud and repeated to myself I would have a wonderful day. I had so much time left, I decided to take my car to the car wash.

Then I drove off to my friends, almost passing my home. Although a bit nervous, it felt freeing to be driving around as Liv. At my friends home, I was taken by their beautiful looks. They looked beautiful in their white dresses and it was wonderful to be with them expressing myself. I was so happy I had made the decision to go as Liv.

Before the wedding we went to get the flowers and we got a lot of compliments at the shop, for our looks. It was wonderful to see my friends shine and walk around in their wedding dresses. I could not help but smile, as I was out as Liv joining them everywhere. Then we went for a photoshoot in a park. I drove the car onto the grass, which is normally not allowed, but we decided this would be a good event to break the rules. Within minutes two police men on bikes came to us. Only to congratulate the couple. That is when we decided that having flowers on the hood of the car allows you to break rules. After a short break at their home, we went to the town hall for the ceremony.

After entering the town hall, all guests were asked to go to the wedding room. I just sat down, when I was asked to go to my friends. It was about a minute before the ceremony would start and I was surprised, but jumped up and went to my friends.In the hallway my friends asked me if I would want to give away one of them. Goosebumps all over my body. Of course I would do that! wow, I felt so excited. The music started playing and we were invited to the room. Arm in arm I walked with my friend to the chair in front of the wedding desk. While we were walking my her name and my name, were called out by the wedding official. It was such an emotional moment. It was a real honor to this for my friends.

I felt fortunate to be part of this wonderful moment. Two friends, in beautiful white wedding dresses getting married. I really want to thank them for this beautiful day. For allowing me to be part of it so intensely and calling me their sister. And I know that even it was their day, they did go to great lengths to make sure I could make this big step forward in my life.

After the wedding I drove them to the party location. It was at a restaurant in a park close to my home. And just a week earlier I had been there as male with my family to have diner. And now I was there as Liv in a completely different setting.

This is a day I will always cherish. For the beautiful moment of two dear friends getting married and for the support and gift they gave me of being able to be there as Liv.

Hugs,

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